| Its been some time snapper..... |
[29 Aug 2005|10:37am] |
So, its been over a year since I updated on this bad boy. I've been pretty busy. I broke up with Joana for a bunch of different reasons, but all of them were sound. I've been going out with Janette for over a year although the end might be in sight for that one unfortunately. Mostly because of age, there's a bunch of stuff she's all ready to do because she's 26. I however, am a freshly turned 22 and not ready for a lot of the things I would be ready for if I was 26. But, what are you going to do. I was talking to D about it, I'm 22 and it seems like everybody around me is in a big hurry to get married yada yada yada and so forth. I think there is a pretty big misconception about that. Getting married or burying yourself under a mountain of debt are not stairs to success or maturity. They are things that come with it, so it takes a little time. But if you wait for it instead of forcing it you'll find the quality to be of a much higher grade. How do I know all this stuff you ask. I just know, so you gotta take my word for it.
I look back on my journal and am kind of amazed at some of the stuff I typed and some of the stuff that I was doing. Nothing too outrageous or out of control but definetly skating that fine line. Which of course, is what I'm famous for so I guess it makes sense.
I'm one class away from transfering but havent even been able to get in to take it. My dad's had a lot of stuff going on so....well, I have his back just like hes got mine. But I cant complain. I manage Bank Auto two days a week and have two days off guaranteed and my income is more than sufficient, my 20th check is still in my desk as a matter of fact.
Anyways I just wanted to keep it real and say whats up, I did try updating a couple of times before this but you know lj, always kinking the deal.
By the way, Revenge of the Sith was incredible and left the legend on a good note.
I also still whoop everyones ass at Halo, except now it's halo 2 and it's me against the world on xbox live, I tried sending a freind request to Ben Peirce but he never responded. That's a sad deal there but, it is what it is.
I actually have more to say but if I don't say it now maybe I'll keep updating.
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| It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..... |
[03 Mar 2004|10:35am] |
Seriously though, it really is a gorgeous day. So, I haven't been working very much. I have been going to school, It's just been pretty relaxing as of late. Despite Joana's paranoia that I somehow have intentions of hurting her or will end up hurting her, or that through some freak turn of events, she'll wind up hurt. I guess for the most part she really isn't wrong for believing what she does. I dont know, Ill try and keep it updated on how it goes but I think I'm at the point of commitment. It's do or die time, and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to die. I had a pretty good weekend, well last night was the first night I didnt do something tight since last wednesday and that was just because I was tired. I have a lot to say or I did but I'm just in one of those content with not saying anything moods. You know what I'm saying, oh, and can I get some new videogames, and can we get started on Crystal Cronicles.I mean dang yall for real.
To white to say that last line,
The "Infamous" RJB
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| Definetly, should not have made it across the border.... |
[17 Feb 2004|11:33am] |
However, it was also definetly a great night. I had an excellent time. Even though I cant remember the last twenty percent of it. Anthony called me irresponsible, but so what, it's not like I'm forty with two kids. Do, I always have to be responsible? Can't I ever just let go, I don't think people really understand the pressure applied to me on a day to day basis, which is cool, because it would still be there anyways. Seriously though, drinking shots while their literally on fire is a first for me. It did take me two days too fully recover so I'll be cool for a hot one.
I was talking to Joana about how different I am today from even a year ago. She knows everything I've done because I've told her, talk about employing different tactics. Anyways, she cant imagine me doing any of them which really means something to me. I had issues, still have some of them actually. But what I saw and knew I could change I made every effort too. Thats being something. I cant even name it. Everyone makes mistakes and has issues. Its recognizing that and taking steps to prevent it from happening again that seperates the people who do something and the people who dont.
I know I've hurt people and I know I've been hurt but theres nothing I can do about the past. All, I can do is try to prevent it from happening in the future. I know its cost me too. But paying the price is how I teach myself and if people arent around now that were around a year ago then they couldnt stick with me through the good times and the bad, and they dont deserve the rewards that come from standing by me, whatever they may be.
I think thats enough for now.
Ronnie
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| I forgot how good it feels to vent on my lj.... |
[10 Feb 2004|11:32am] |
So, spent some serious time traversing San Diego yesterday in search of...whatever. There was actually a couple of things we were looking for collectively. Then Mailman came over after I got home and I ended up being up til two. I was pretty damn tired, which brings me to getting old.
Tyler had the realization, a year later mind you, that me and Nick are no longer teenagers. While this didnt escape my attention as long as it did his, I didnt give it much thought. Twenty isnt that old right? Well, its not that old, correct. But, it is me getting older. I use to stay awake a jillion hours in a row, standing on my head, without giving it a second thought. It was just a mind over matter type of deal. It has been getting more and more difficult. My shoulder clicks sometimes. My muscles are sore a little bit longer after a good workout. I'm not old and I'm not saying I am, but I could be getting there prematurely for being so hard on my body my entire youthhood.
School, it is so hard to be motivated in school. I dont know what I want major in still. If I didnt make more money then alot of college graduates now it wouldnt be so difficult because you could use the earning potential as a source of motivation. I already have that earning potential, as a matter of fact. School is costing me fifteen to twenty grand a year, as far as earnings. Out of control I think so. Oh, Mesa even canceled my math class and tried to send me to UCSD to take it. What the hell kind of crap is that. Just a little bitter.
But, I am staying in school and getting my degree regardless I just might take this semester off. I have alot going on right now, and school just might take too much effort. I was thinking of trying a different profession for a hot one though. I can always go back to the car business and I've only worked in the car business, and at the Aquatic Center. I'm not counting Plumeria. So anyways, I just want to test the other waters, see what I'm missing or see what I'm not missing at all.
Anyways, there are a bunch of thoughts left in my head but thier so concentrated and jumbled I cant pick them out.
Si mon
Ronald
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| All I need is one mic... |
[09 Feb 2004|09:56am] |
Well, I havent posted in quite a long while. Mostly, just because I didnt have time. Or the little time I did have I didnt want to do anything requiring some deep thought. So much is new...
I never really have needed anyone but myself. Thats always been one of my strong points in my mind. I can make it, whatever it is I'm making by myself. Without anyones help but my own. If it ever comes down to it I don't NEED anyone. However, I do have the desire to be around people. I don't like to be by myself. I'm rather social, so much so that sometimes it gets me in to trouble but, what are you gonna do.
So, I'm sure more people hate me now then ever. I'm also sure alot of it is stuff I dont know about. Which I never really got, I usually tell someone if I have an issue or whatnot, it's girly to do otherwise. In my opinion. The funny thing is how people can hold a grudge against me for years, as in multiple rotations of the earth around the sun. Maybe, rightfully so but what are you gonna do. I've rather cleaned up my act for the most part. I'm sure there will always be a couple things I have to work on, but if I was perfect life would get boring right?
Which brings me to my next topic. Boredom, and its everpresence in my life. I'm definetly not bored all the time don't get me wrong. It just seems like theres stuff missing. I have the girl I could potentially marry,dont freak out I'll talk about it in a sec. I've got decent friends for the most part. A decent amount that I'll always be friends with too, no matte how much we grow apart or whatever and I have those friends that I know will always be there. Chinky the gay ninja, and KStraw and probably Nick. Tyler and I will always be friends to an extent as well. Hes been doing his own thing now which is cool,and he probably has issues with me, well, who doesnt at this point. But, he knows I'm around if he needs me, and I think I could say the same about him if hes not too high to answer the damn phone. But like I said, I dont need anyone but it is nice to have people you can call in a pinch.
Joanna, is there a situation De source asked. Definetly, so I've never really been one who believed in fate or that predetermined future bullshit. I've always thought that I could determine my own fate with a little bit of luck, some skill, and a good attitude. Then you start dating a girl, which seems no different from the rest on the surface, but as things progress the feeling she brings is on an illegal substance level and you cant see an end to the relationship and neither can she. Great right? Except your twenty and have barely hit the iceberg of dating and girls. So if you feel like I do, its no big deal and you can find another one. However, you have to consider all posibilities. One being that there is only one for you and if you pass this up for chance at a jillion other girls who might not compare to this one, youve blown it. Not my style of thinking but you have to consider the possible losses. So, were just kicking it day by day, taking it one step at a time. If I end up with her then so be it, and I'll know that I will be happy. If I don't then it wont be as big a loss as previously thought and I will have covered all my bases.
I have more to say but it will have to wait.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
RB 2000
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| Hunt for the Munt..... |
[25 Nov 2003|01:15am] |
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mood |
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 exanimate |
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music |
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the shiznit |
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I've been having such a good time for such a long while now. There hasnt been a break in good time. Straight good time.
Frickin chicks. Everyone of the is a ballbreaker, or so Ive discovered. Its just how big of a ball breaker are they, then weeding out all the big ballbreakers out. "So, does that mean you think about me all the time?" or something to that effect. Both answers are tricks to entrap you. But, even under the influence I had the skills to dodge it. Not very suavely, sure, but I dodged it nonetheless.
Work work work. School. Im doing good at my job. I must say. I got a new alarm put on and the darkest five window tint on the planet. Im just expecting a cop to get my ass. Its like putting an invitation on the door.
Im losing strength from never working out, never eating. Im losing it.
Thats all the strength I have for now.
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| Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? |
[24 Nov 2003|04:02pm] |
*sigh*
Im so content right now. Its not that I have everything I want, Its just that things are going really well. The best they've been going in a really long time. Its amazing how some people can just bring you down so much. Its crazy.
My new job at Point Loma Credit Union Buyer Direct.
"Its not right that a twenty year old has an office like this."
-Anthony Nilliaga
I actually have more then one office at a couple of different branches. I go to a different branch everyday. I manage my own time and can pretty much do what ever I want. But, I want to be at work most of the time. I want to do well. So it works out and Im not messing around.... most of the time. It's also nice to have a flexible schedule. Which brings me to my next topic but long story short, I like it alot.
I had a 1200 watt JBL amp installed in my car along with a 15" direct comp subwoofer along with a power cap and circuit breaker. 1250 OTD including installation. I grounded the guy for like three hours. I know hes gotta make money but I feel like I got a good deal.
I went to Canes with Memo last Saturday. I left with someone else. Yep, I know. Oh, and they thought I was twenty one.
Theres been some other stuff thats been happening but I dont need to go in to it in detail here. To summarize, Im sticking to all my goals and following through on everything Im suppose too. I tell only the truth, 99 out of one hundred times. Seriously though, it is neccesarry sometimes. I think its because Im twenty though. I think as I get older it will be 100 percent truth.
I was reading Import Tuner and something the model said struck a chord with me. I really am someone beneath all my crap. You can take away all my money and my job, and my surf shop but underneath it Im still the one and only Ronnie B., whats really deep is if you realize that you cant take away that stuff because I am Ronnie B. Yep, told you.
"Man made the money, money never made the man."
Im glad if people who think their happy actually are. Its sad when people trick themselves in to thinking their happy. I know, Ive been the tricker, both of other people and of my self.
This entry is out of control.
Ronald James Blomquist
AutoBroker at Large
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| I have been so damn busy...... |
[29 Sep 2003|10:30am] |
Well, I havent posted in a month and a half I believe, and a lot of stuff has been happening. So lets see, where to start.....
I think being twenty is the busy age because I have seriously not had much time to spare since august tenth. I have also been told a couple of times that I am wise behind my years. So at least Ive learned over the years.
Plumeria has just done a big licensing deal. So dont be surprised if you start seeing Plumeria surfboards Hanalei Hawaii, all over the damn place.
Excellent? Yes, yes it is.
My car, I had 4-2-1 headers and a cool air intake installed right before I had a performance tuned exhaust intstalled. Then I bought a new alpine deck and it replace my old cd player. Then someone tried to steal it and fucked up my car. Isai took care of everything besides the door handle which I need to order by the way.
Ive kinda started hanging out with different people. Its pretty cool but Id rather I didnt have to. My friends have all become so invloved with weed that it literally dictates their life. Letting your life be run by any plant seems kind of stupid doesnt it? More then that though Ive kinda formed my own sect within that group. Im the lone guy trying to make something of myself. I feel kinda stupid for Tyler and Nick kinda being on that kinda path, well, Nick really isnt on that path. Hes always been something of his own man. So he still might be great. Tyler though, I blame myself for Tyler really. He was under my wing at one point and then I got too worried about girls and I took time away from teaching him. Tell me thats not stupid. So, Nathaniel takes him under his wing and one year later, you have this.
Anyways, Ive been selling alot of cars as well, for part time anyways. Im also starting a new job for the buying service, for twenty hours a week I get 750 a chech plus commission. I also get to keep working tent sales. So, suffice it to say Im gonna have some more money. Which for some reason, no matter how much you have, its never enough. Of course unless you have a bajillion dollars. That might be enough.
Girls, Ive been seeing a couple new ones as I always am, looking for one to make the cut. So nothing really worthwhile to report on that one. On a seperate note whenever I see Dazels livejournal on tyler or nicks friendslist Im disgusted by what shes become. I had her on track to become someone great, now she talks like everyother girl and does the same dumb shit and is hoping to make three grand a month when she gets out of college. Shes got issues, or maybe she always did and I was too blind to see them. Regardless, in the future, if you have something to tell me about a girl dont be shy. Oh, and remind me not to date mexican chicks.
My relationships with my parents seem to be going really well also. We talk all the time about random stuff and we spend all kinds of time with each other.
Im hanging out with Memo tommorrow. Weve been trying to get that shit off the ground for a long while.
Til next time,
"Part Time" Ronnie B.
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| Faced with my own adulthood.... |
[22 Aug 2003|02:48am] |
So, I dont think its turning twenty or anything but I realized through some help, that Im actually growing up if I havent alraedy. Its crazy. I havent picked up a video game in a long time. I dont know what it is. I guess I should be thankful I am growing up when some people go their whole lives without doing it. I think its just hard for me to accept. I didnt really want to grow up. At least not all the way. I wanted to have that child like innocence. I still have a glint of it in my eye but the wide child eyes are a thing of the past. I think some times so much. About things Ive done mostly. There are some things Im proud of and there are some things Im not. But, Ive come to peace with everything after a long time of not being at peace with alot. I dont need people. I like people but Im my own man and can self accomplish whatever I need too. Im done with letting people drag me down. The real crazy thing, is how much Ive accomplished with out growing up. It raises the question: What am I really capable of? Maybe alot, maybe not. Id find the second one hard to believe. Im sorry Dazel, Im sorry Rosanna, Im sorry Veronica, I apologize to anyone Ive ever hurt through my lying and scheming, because there were innocent casualties. I hope its comforting to know that it cost me, and also to know that everything Ive gone through well be part of an end result which will hopefully be great, Ronnie Blomquist. Well see what I can do when I focus ALL my efforts to something positive. To all my true friends, thanks for being there when you have, and fuck you for not being there when I needed you. I appreciate you. I appreciate the effort which counts for more to me. Im glad I could help you with a car Nick. I wish I could do everything for everyone. Unfortunately, I cant. I told Karen that I gave one hundred and ten percent to my friends and I felt it should be returned. She told me how I couldnt expect everyone to be like me, and that some people will give only fifty percent. Shes wrong. I should, and do expect one hundred and ten percent from everyone. They might not always give it, but I do expect it. Because I know that the people who actually give one hundred and ten percent are the people who are gonna make it and be happy, not the half assed people who fuck around their whole life, and I want the best for my crew, for Phalanx. Its time to make it happen. Im ready, but is the world ready for me?
Ronald J.B.
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| Emhoy |
[14 Aug 2003|01:02pm] |
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| By the by, |
[05 Aug 2003|08:18am] |
That was some good shit last night Kevin. Im glad we were able to run those guys and makes some shit happen.
Im also glad that Ive been meeting so many new people. Just massive amounts of people entering my life with all kinds of potential for everything.
Oh, me and Kevin are going to Lake Havasue for memorial day weekend so if you see something on the news about two guys doing it up there like no other you know who it is. Im taking a wave runner or two, and its gonna be sick. Its crazy up there for real.
So, its deep to hear the real shit that causes other people to break up. It made me reflect on the dumbass shit that Ive done. Other people go the distance to break up and I was just dumb. Even if Ill be happier now, it sucks what Ive done. But I do learn. So, hopefully in the true tradition of me Ill take what Ive learned and apply it to the future. I make alot of dumb mistakes. The positive way to look at it though is I should be a better person faster. I think.... Im close to being tight. People dont give me enough credit. You know what though, if their not tight with me they truly are missing out.
James Dean of the San Diego Scene,
Ronnie B.
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| Ill bust you like I busted them...... |
[05 Aug 2003|08:04am] |
Sooooooo, late night accidentally staying at other peoples houses should definetly not become a habit. Terrible idea really.
So my birthday is in 5 days. Whooptee frickin doo. Naw Im just playing it should be tight. In case you dont know Im having a little sumthin sumthin at my place so get in touch and Ill let you know. I was thinking about it though. I really have come along way. I dont have a girl levels below me draggin me down. I dont have one above me holdin me down. Ive figured out what Im looking for if it happens to pass by. Im doing things better, more the way they should be done instead of cutting corners. I think Im gonna buy a house at the beginning of 2004. You can quote me on that one by the way. Show me how many guys my age can do that.....that arent rock stars.
Youve been off my friends list for a long time. I think its funny how your always "he cant hurt me". You and I know thats bullshit as well as anyone else with common sense. Or else youd talk to me, try to be my friend and what not. The only way for you to get past that was by running away from it and pretending it doesnt exist. Is there a pattern here? I think so. Anyways, good luck to ya. Youll need it. Oh, and I know for a FACT my poem left your ass speechless. The truth does that, if your wondering why you were.
So, Karen broke up with Patrick last night. If that aint some deep shit.
Fuck you if its Fuck me. Holla at cho boy.
Ronjizzle Bizzle
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| I'm right, so I'm tight |
[04 Aug 2003|06:53pm] |
Its so funny how people have a habit of running away from true shit they dont want to hear. I find two traits to be common in people who do this. People who cant man up to who they are, as well as people lacking maturity.
Anyways, Ive been nerding out alot lately. I think Ive been doing it to kinda blow off some steam after working so hard to change myself for the better. It preoccupied alot of my time. So, now Im just kicking it.
I got suckerpunched at this one party, then this one guy was gone. I was sweating it for a little bit but the guy has to know I would have beaten his ass if he hits me while Im sitting in a chair with a girl on my lap. Thats frickin unbeleivable. I would never do that to someone. Anyways yeah.
Yesterday I watched Episodes 1 and 2, read part of a star wars book, and played the game all at the same time. How crazy is that tish.
So, you finally took me off your friends list. Probably cause I called you out, but you know what? Tough shit. It needed to be said and its all true. You were all about being nice to each other til I moved on, then it was a different story. Funny how that works.. I hope you can grow up sometime. Im good to go for now. Good luck Ben, your tight.
So, I have this habit of falling for girls, but I think Im over it...at least temporarily. I dont have a problem...how to put this? Just kicking it.
Went with some friends to the track today, almost lost my ass but came out on top. Story of my life.
Well Im off to play some bball with Mailman.
May the Force be with you......
Padawan Ronnie Blomquist
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| Blah, blah blah, blah,........blah |
[03 Aug 2003|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
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music |
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me and myself |
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So let me teach you a lesson or two,
you really dont hate all the things that I do
but you put on a big show like you dont care
cause nobody must know that you left on a dare,
but thats ok, if you want to say that however
cause youve lost your chance at me now and forever
but for fun lets just say that your really tight
that your always right and you fight the good fight
you talk about me not being a man
when I can do ten times the things that you can
your parents know you wont make a stand
but yes I still got alot of growing to do,
Im not the man I can be yet but Im still more mature then you
I dont know what the hell you think you see
when I walked you through from a to z
but I guess my vision would be blurry if lies clouded my mind
both from me Ronnie B. and the guys on the sidelines
so I did some things wrong but you did some too
but theres alot of worse things that we didnt do
so you couldnt hang through it all and you had to bounce
then you made your bestfriend your boyfriend to give you some clout
but its not because your not strong like Britney
and more like the drugged out version of Whitney
its more that even though you hate to admit it Im irreplacable
and that no other guy is like me its unmistakable
so you can tell me you think I blend in
but Im a better man now Ive even decreased my spendin
cause like I said Im way more mature then you
so I can critically think, problem solve, and learn too
so have fun blaming me for all your insecurities cause Im the one to blame right?
it couldnt be that your jeans from yesterday feel to tight
so have fun working at Holly wood making minimum wage
and keep telling your boyfriend your on the same page
cause your the one that has to get up in the morning and look at your face
I feel sorry for you whenever you realize that I got first and you got last place
Thats all I have to say for now
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| About to go to sleep but before I do |
[17 Jul 2003|01:03am] |
So, Mandy Moore is well spoken, hot, and I think shes pretty intelligent, oh, and shes 5'10". So, yeah, thats tight.
I always put to much faith in people, its one of my character flaws I believe. Then nights, where I just say, lets do what the fuck ever. Everyone else lags. Its outta control, for the love of god if your gonna have me step aside do some shit or something. I dont know, everywhere I look people are just sucking right now, having their own sucky time or something. I dont know, but. I dont know, maybe I just shouldnt care.
So, I have alot of stuff to do today, not too much but just enough to have a good one.
Play some basketball with the Kevins and represent.
Ive got alot to say but I dont know how safe it is to say it. Know what Im saying?
Ronnie" some people suck" Blomquist
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| How to lose a guy in 10 days....... |
[08 Jul 2003|01:34am] |
So Im a little bit of a woman. Nothing wrong with that.
Ive decided that maybe all the crap I go through is for a reason. Sometimes I swear there is some master plan somewhere to keep me from where Im going. Recently though, it occurred to me that maybe thats only part of the plan. Maybe the other part is to prepare me for where Im going. All the shit I go through makes me stronger, and although it tries to break me.... Ive proven many times that Im unbreakable, and as long as Ive got will and a fighting chance, I wont be broken.
My dad said something the other day that coincided with this. He said that no matter what I did I would be succesful as long as I wanted to be. No matter what it was he said. He explained to me how far I am ahead of him when he was my age and how all the stuff I really have, is owed to one person, myself. So if I can do what ever I want well then whats the deal, right? I decided that its possible that the destination might not be so important. Maybe its getting there thats the big deal. Going through all the shit I do go through just to iron the kinks out. That way, anything left at this point that needs fixing will hopefully be fixed by the time I get where ever Im going so to speak. Hopefully. Anyways all I can really do at this point is try and do the best I can, and I mean REALLY try, and hope I get pointed in the right direction. Chance favors the prepared mind you know.
I also noticed when I was playing starcraft that I was a different player, I realized and secured what I thought were key points on the map and things of the like. It was deep for a hot one. I just played differently, strategically.
Ronnie"400 hundred dollar video game on the floor" Blomquist
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| Hurt....... |
[29 Jun 2003|08:15pm] |
I writhe in pain on the inside. I cant even explain it. Its so easy for hurt to turn in to anger though. It is a fine line I walk on.
Im so tired of they said this and they said that. By now, the shit Ive done has undoubtedly snowballed in to me being the mastermind behind the holocaust. Unknown enemies are the hardest to fight. God knows I have to many of those I might as well quit. But I dont, I fight for something greater then any one person. I fight for an ideal. How foolish am I? Very foolish probably. Im never ok, she always is. A sign maybe. I also like how Im an easy pick to call the asshole or insert expletive here, when I notice so many other people treat so many others terribly and go unscathed in reputation. It really is amazing. Im not a bad guy. I make mistakes. Sometimes huge ones. But Ive got my head in the right place.
Its amazing how some treat a select few well and then everyone else terribly. Everyone deserves to be treated well, no, great. No one understands that and the more time that passes the less people realize that. The end of the world? Probably not so drastic.
Youve twisted me in your mind while changing yourself in reality. Thats deep.
You wanna know whats wierd. How some people are so stubborn about doing the wrong thing. Im stubborn but I do have the ability to displace myself. To see it from a universal point of view. I guess not everyone can be so lucky.
Maybe I cant beat everyone by myself. Maybe I cant beat everyone with a couple friends in my corner. Maybe it takes an army. One under my influence. Maybe even that wont even do it.
You are a hypocrite. Period. Dont ask either. Think.
I fight so hard for anything and everything. EVERYTHING, I have is because I bled and worked and sweat for it. I will win the war, even if I do lose this battle. I do fight hard though, and I have fought hard. hard.
I need to get a job just to meet some new people. I need new people I wouldnt meet ordinarily. But I mean good people.
It took the last of my strenght to type.
R.
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| FUCK |
[27 Jun 2003|05:01pm] |
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I JUST POSTED A LONG FUCKING THING AND LIVEJOURNAL FUCKED ME.
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| Seriously, Im stupid..... |
[25 Jun 2003|12:27pm] |
So, for some reason, I failed to go to sleep last night
Dont really know why, but my body is off its damn rocker
Its hurting for some precious shut eye. Of course, a little man up status never hurt anyone.
Well see if Im just being stupid or going the distance.
Wow, Im tired
Big ups to all my peeps.
Ronnie"tired like no other" Blomquist
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| Me vs. the world: round 87 jillion |
[20 Jun 2003|02:29am] |
I guess in reality its never been different. I was just tricked by the world in some kind of ropeadope manuver.sigh*. Me versus alot. Why does it always have to be like this? Why cant I be one of the 87 jillion? Oh well, maybe thats both my gift and my curse at the same time. I'm destined to live among the many while I myself am a unique individual. Do I lead the many? Do I spurn them for their hatred cause Im different and spend my adulthood trying to find a way to rule all? Not likely. HOWEVER, the world better watch out cause Im done fighting with one hand behind my back. The gloves are off and I am heavy handed.
Wow, seriously, those are extra bitter words. Im not really that bitter usually. I suppose that old "your worst enemy is yourself" type deals but......*sigh I dont know.
Im a man who takes control of the situation hes in but I cant at this moment for some reason. Its like all the cogs are moving so fast anything I throw in to the machine to slow it down is pointlessly obliterated. How do I slow the big machine down.
Seriously, I could use an extra ability I dont ordinarily have to give me the edge in my current situation.
The puzzle that is me is still missing pieces and theres nothing else on the table.
"You cant climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets."
I know she said it's alright
you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks it's fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't wanna break 'em, nah, I wouldn't wanna break 'em
Ronnie "The underdog" Blomquist
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